"...Actually, It IS You."

Dear Criterion Games,

I like you guys. I like your games. More specifically, I like your Burnout franchise. I enjoy arcade racers more than sims, and my favorite games from the N64 era were the San Francisco RUSH franchise - which does include the N64-exclusive RUSH 2: Extreme Racing USA, one of my most-played games from the era. I enjoyed the thrill of driving cars really, really fast and seeing them wreck spectacularly, and I was glad to found a potential successor last console generation when I played the original Burnout on the Gamecube. I had fun when you unleashed Burnout 2 on the PS2, but it wasn't until y'all hooked up with EA and gave the world Burnout 3: Takedown. I played that game to death. Being able to take out your opponents with aggressive driving finally made Burnout the RUSH successor I wanted to play. I did get Burnout Revenge, but it wasn't my favorite of the franchise.

That is until you released Burnout Paradise on the next-gen systems. I got a taste of the demo on the PS3 last year, and thought it was the bomb. In that little taste, you gave me a fluid online system and an arcade racer meshing with an open world that makes me happy. And, when I got my 360 later that year, the trip to Paradise City was one of the first games I've ever got. And, it was filled to the brim with Awesome Sauce. The open world was fully realized. The online play mechanics integrated seamlessly into the gameplay. It was literally Burnout meets GTA in the sense that you can race around Paradise City and not even bother with the main quest until you were ready. It was fun, and it also got my brother into the franchise.

And, then, you took the base game and made it better through downloadable content. You did DLC better than anyone last year by offering game-changing content. Cagney was cool, but the Bikes Pack was truly the best and shows why some people (including myself) think you are the only developer worthy enough to tackle a revival/remake of Road Rash, one of EA's classic franchises (which include Wing Commander and the Strike series). And, all of it was free. You added more Awesome Sauce to the game without corrupting it. And, you are still supporting the game, adding in an offline multiplayer mode, 4 kick-ass tributes to pop culture's iconic cars (like the Ecto-1, the General Lee, KITT, and the flying DeLorean), and more coming down the pipline as paid DLC. And, all of it is good and cool. But, this is where we part, Criterion.

Look at the pic above. In order to access the Legendary Cars pack (the pop culture tributes), I have to download the latest update to Burnout Paradise. And, guess what? That update takes up over 870 MB of hard drive space; it's even more annoying that the download to activate the Legendary Cars is a little over 100 KB. And, you did the same thing with the Party Pack - large-ass free update, tiny activation pack. Now, this is fine and dandy, if I had a large enough hard drive. But, instead, I got a 20 GB, purchased when they first went down in price (better known as a "liquidation"). And, I'm not going to delete more space off of my hard drive to support this or any more of your updates. So, it pains me to say/type this, but we have to part ways, Criterion. I can't support your game anymore. My hard drive cannot handle any more updates until I upgrade to the 120 GB, which won't be for a while; other purchases like DVDs, food, graphic novels, and a backup external hard drive for my computer are more important at this moment. So, until then, or when you make another game, we part ways. Just remember: it's not you, it's me...

...Actually, it IS you. STOP RELEASING DLC THAT IS TOO HUGE! Those of us on both the 360 and the PS3 with small hard drives already near the brink cannot hold these updates without deleting stuff we want. Plus, the 1.6 update is gone from the XBLM servers! Do we still need it? I Need Answers!

Signed,
-Jonathan, aka Vyse the tetrisdork (XBL: tetrisdork)

Burnout Paradise's listing on the Xbox Live Marketplace (Xbox.com)
Criterion Games home page
Criterion on Twitter (looks like I know where to ask...)