Pure Randomness #006 - This Is Not The Big Post You're Looking For

Pic unrelated

Yeah. Sorry for not posting this past week. And, again, sorry if you were expecting a big post. Because this is not it. Work can do that to you. Expect something on Wednesday (if I can pull myself away from the Toon Zone forums). Until then, enjoy this video from the past week of a series I want to finance if I had the cash (found at Topless Robot):

BTW, I'm a PC, and I wrote a blog post.

Pure Randomness #005 - I Am Lazy.

I NEED MOTIVATION!
Sorry for the delays. Also, expect something big next week during Pure Randomness.
Source

Video Of The Moment: "June Madness"

NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams

I already posted this on my Twitter account earlier, but since today's the proper start of the NCAA Basketball Tournament, it's appropriate to post this gem from The Onion a couple of weeks ago. Enjoy.

BTW, I'll probably film the first installment of "The Assessment" tonight or tomorrow.

Prepare to pay full retail (and then some)

Pic courteously from Destructoid

I was genuinely excited for Hasbro Family Game Night. You can call me a casual dumbass for saying that, but the idea of playing board games with others is an ideal I support. Hell, I even bought a travel version of Sorry! just so I can play with others without having to get the full version. And, the idea of playing Sorry! and several other games (including Battleship and Scrabble) online with others via Xbox Live made me consider getting the game. That is, until the pricing was shown to the public.

The Xbox Live Arcade version of FGN is free, but it comes with no board games. If you want those, they will set you back at 800 M$P (or $10 in US currency) per game. And, only a select few - Battleship, Connect 4, Scrabble, and Yahtzee - are only available with the others (Sorry!, Sorry! Sliders, and Boggle) coming soon. Honestly, I think that's bull-cacca. Even though I spent $9 for SFIV costume packs and blew money on 360 themes and gamerpics, I'm not willing to spend excess cash for these titles (even though they may be technically cheaper than the real McCoys).

And then, I remembered something. I remember seeing this game listed for the Wii and PS2. And, when I went to the official web site, lo and behold, those versions existed. Guess how much they cost? $40 and $20 respectively, and both come with 6 games, the lone excemption being Scrabble. Guess how much it will cost to get all seven on XBLA? 5600 Microsoft Points, or in better terms, 70 bones. 70. United. States. Dollars. Horse Armor is technically better than this price-gouging bullshit.

While curse words fill my head (and probably yours, too), here's something I just discovered along with the price. This is technically a la carte gaming, in which you pay for only the things you care about instead of having to deal with the whole shebang and get crap you won't play ever. I remember hearing and reading about how the FCC has been hammering on the cable and satellite companies to allow the existence of a la carte services, giving the consumers to pay for only the channels they want and supposedly save some cash. This proposal technically led some companies like DirecTV and Dish Network to create cheaper "Family" Packages to allow consumers to get safe-for-the-kiddie networks ranging from kids networks (Disney Channel), kid/adult hybrid channels (Cartoon Network/Adult Swim and Nickelodeon) and general-interest/infotainment channels like Discovery that won't corrupt a child's "fragile little mind" (like the Dirty Jobs host artifically inseminating a cow by shoving bovine semen up a cow's vagina). The problem is that if the channels you want cost more than paying for the Total Choice package that contains the channels you want plus more at a cheaper price, it's just economically smarter to just go ahead and get the Total Choice package and fiddle around with the settings so you can only see the channels you care about.

Technically, I only care about a few games (Sorry! Sliders, Scrabble, Battleship, and maybe Yahtzee). But, there will be a few Xbox 360 users who are going to get all the games. And they are going to get burned big time when they pay $30 or $50 dollars more than the Wii and PS2 versions for the privelage to say, "Hey look! I got the same game as you, but I can play online and have Scrabble included as well!" The creators (EA) and Microsoft need to do what Rock Band (ironically a product that EA distributes) and others do: Offer the board games together at a discounted price. Like, say, the initial 4 for $30 and the next three for $20. Sure, that tallys up to be $10 more than the Wii version, but a logistical counter-argument will be the ability to play online and Scrabble. And, it's still cheaper than 70 effin' dollars.

BTW, Buy The Get The Funk Out Track Pack For The Rock Bands NOW

I love Rock Band, or Rock Band 2 to be specific. It introduced (at least on the home console level) the ability to play as a complete band (guitars, drums, and vocals) simultaneously and made paying over $160 for plastic fake instruments cool and hip. It also pioneered the use of Downloadable Content, with virtually weekly releases of songs that could easily make up multiple versions of Rock Band that could be sold at Gamestop for $60 a pop. Plus, the song selection is eclectic, spanning multiple genres and decades. One week, you can have the best of The Who, and the next you're sampling country music. It's Awesome.

Although, it sometimes doesn't look like variety. Recent stats have shown that there are more rock and alternative songs available for the game. Hell, there's more metal songs than progressive rock, punk, blues, and country songs combined. Check the chart. It's somewhat sad. But, things are looking good, at least for this week. A wide variety of songs came out this week, but the most notable is the "Get The Funk Out" track pack. For about 440 Microsoft Points (or about $5.50 for those with the PS3 version and don't have to deal with Microsoft's Space Bucks system), you get three songs from James Brown, Average White Band, and Earth Wind & Fire. I played through the guitar tracks on each song, but these songs make me want to get some people together and create a band to play these songs. Or, at least get a microphone to wail through "Get Up (I Feel Like a) Sex Machine." If you have Rock Band 1 or 2, and you haven't gotten the Track Pack yet, get it NOW! I'll see you on Xbox Live.

BTW, buy the Track Pack on the 360 here. For a preview of the songs, click on the videos.

Happy Day Of Drink! (aka St. Patrick's Day)

I live in Savannah, GA. And tomorrow (or today, since I was typing this late last night) is going to be one of the biggest days of the year for the city. Why? Because tomorrow's St. Patrick's Day, a holiday which lost all original meaning whatsoever and became nothing more than a holiday for drunkenness. Our city's parade is one of the largest in the country, either 2nd or 3rd biggest (always behind New York's). We dye a fountain green. And, the city will have to deal with drunks, crazed women kissing marching cadets from the local all-boys military school, and more drunks. Crap, the city even tried to contain the purchase of liquor in downtown Savannah (where the parade is held) into one district and have it fenced off, creating a drunk display for a local zoo.

I really have no clue if they're doing it again this year (I believe not) because I don't care about the parade. I've been to it before as a kid, and really have no interest to fight the crowds since I became older. In fact, while the parade happens, I'll be at work bagging groceries; yes, that's my job but it's not my career. But, for the few of you who read this blog (hey, bro!) and to the rest of the Interwebz, I wish all of you a happy and safe St. Patrick's Day. Or, ever since I saw the Family Guy episode "Peter's Two Dads," a happy and safe Day of Drink!

(I couldn't find a clip of FG where Peter and his biological dad start playing "The Game Of Drink," so you get the end of the episode where they engage in a musical number. Still suits the holiday, though. Either way, go watch "Peter's Two Dads" to commemorate the holiday. Even if it means you buying the episode off of Xbox Live or iTunes, or even getting the DVD, do it NOW!)

Pure Randomness #004

The picture above is from the one-shot manga Tonari no Tarō-kun, in which someone who looks like President Obama and his neighbor, who looks like Japanese Prime Minister and self-proclaimed otaku Tarō Asō, get involved in kinky situations. BTW, did I mention this is an erotic manga? No? Okay, then. For more NSFW "highlights" (for a lack of a better term), go here. If you want to learn more about Obama, Asō, and their connections to manga and Japan in a safe-for-work manner, go here.

But, the thing that startled my mind is not that Obama is in an ero-manga, it's who else is involved. In the pic above, you see that fake-Obama's wingpeople are lookalikes of John McCain and Hilary Clinton. McCain doesn't bother me. It's Hilary. Because she's hot. I mean she's hot. Look again at the pic above. Now, look at the pic below of the real Hilary:

Sorry, scotsindependent.org, but your pic of Hil was the first result on Google Image Search

As you can see, fake Hilary looks younger than the real deal. Heck, I now have a plan to use the person I now dubbed "Hot Hilary" in a future post.

Speaking of future postings, here's what else you can expect from BPR:

• Pure Randomness Assessment: After every four Pure Randomnesses, expect a video walkthrough of my stupid thought process. The first Assessment will come later this week.
• Reviews on energy drinks.
• Power Rangers and Super Sentai (the original Japanese version)
• What I dub "The Anti-Twilight"
• Xbox 360 Community Games
• Old-School Xbox 1 games
• Crap that makes me cry
• Songs that should be on Rock Band
• Is Star Ocean 4 erotic?
• Lists
• Features involving lists
• This:

Video(s) Of The Moment: XBLA In Brief - Crystal Defenders/Peggle + Bonus FoD Vids

I enjoy following/reading Joystiq Xbox (formerly called Xbox 360 Fanboy). Sure, most of the posts now are actual posts from Joystiq proper, they still put out some regular features exclusive to the Xbox section like XBLA In Brief. This weekly video series features playthroughs of the week's newest Xbox Live Arcade demos as host Richard Mitchell describes whether or not you should pay full price for them. This past Wednesday's was special. It featured the two new titles out, Crystal Defenders and Peggle. Crystal Defenders is a tower defense style game made by and featuring jobs from Final Fantasy. Peggle is Peggle, a pachinko-like game hailed by many as extremely addicting. If you haven't played Peggle yet, play it here or here if you have IE. I have both games, and both are very good. You can blame the video above for me buying them.

BONUS VIDEOS FROM FUNNY OR DIE!
Funny or Die, the humor video site from Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, gave the geek world two delightful gems. One features Jon Hamm of Mad Men as Lex Luthor. Another stars Malin Akerman (aka Silk Spectre II from Watchmen) and quite possibly the worst roommate ever if you are beautiful and star in geek cinema. Since both are awesome, the full versions are posted below. Watch them if you haven't seen them yet. Or, watch 'em again. Your call. (Metacomment: One day, I'll figure out how to do the "Read More" tags, but I'm too tired to care now)

"Lex Luthor Bailout" with Jon Hamm from Jon Hamm

Watchmen Tour with Malin Akerman from Malin Akerman

Video Of The Moment: Pork

I never really like liked Tim And Eric. Their shows, Tom Goes To The Mayor and Tim And Eric Awesome Show Great Job!, have been hit or miss. Some are genius, like John C Riley as Dr. Steve Brule and Child Clown Warehouse, while others, like when Tim's dad started to treat Eric more like his own son more than his real one, are misfires that question why [adult swim] is wasting money on them. But, to give them credit, they're certainly better than Young Person's Guide To History; God, I hate that show/special.

This clip, and your current VOTM, is from the most recent episode. Of course, I didn't watch it, but if I did, it would have been for this because it was the only thing interesting from the episode's promo. Bring on the pork.

Pure Randomness #003 - Chris Brown On Vacation!

Chris Brown pictured here in his "Thug Life" pose. "Yeah. Look at my muscles." What a douchebag.

Now, I know this is horrible. But, I don't know the full situation between hip-hop/R&B singers/performers Rihanna and Chris Brown. Should we base all of Chris Brown's past, present, and future behavior over one incident when he took a lyric from "Boyz n the Hood" literally and allegedly beat Rihanna? Maybe. Maybe not. There probably is a logical reason why she probably took him back. Maybe it really was a fluke incident and not really reflective of Chris Brown's behavior. Maybe he's great in the sack. Who the f--k knows and who the f--k cares. We'll learn eventually when Rihanna becomes our generation's Whitney Houston and after she embarrasses herself and her career by saying some really stupid things on par with "Crack is whack" and one of Chris Brown's songs gets covered horribly by the biggest teeny-bopper female star out there like what Britney did to Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative." God, that cover sucked.

But, this Pure Randomness post is not about Rihanna and Chris Brown. Not directly, anyway. It's about the covers of the supermarket tabloids like the US Weekly above. They, along with the paparazzi, decided to go after the couple during their recent vacation to a beach (really don't care where). And, of course, 4 tabloids - US, OK, In Touch, and Star, all had covers devoted to the couple this week, with In Touch deciding to go with easy Photoshopping two file photos instead of using the on-assignment paps. What they chose for the Chris Brown cover photos really inspired me to comment on them. Like US Weekly's above. Half of what I'm thinking about when I see "Thug Life" CB makes me think of him as a "Wanksta". Reason? I know he dances for a living! I may be a nerd who loves punk, rock, and Japanese pop, but I study about pop culture and been exposed to MTV and VH1, along with attending a Historically Black College and University (Go Savannah State!) to know what Chris Brown does for a living; it also makes me feel confident to also call him my generation's Bobby Brown. Can't wait to see his potential criminal record. Until then, here's more covers!

Here, we have Star's pick. Note the fact that it's an insert pic, just like US Weekly's (did a good zoom job on that). The zoomed-in on aspect of it, along with Brown's pose, head tilt, and facial expression, makes me think of one of two quotes: "Huh?" and "Where's My Dinner, Woman!" Clearly, the paps and Star want Rihanna to dump Mr. Brown. Also of note is Rihanna's apparent disgust. What is she giving the look to and why? Is it because the paps are there? Did Chris Brown do something stupid? Did she get the wrong order?


Next is OK Weekly's cover. Rihanna looks happy and has her arm around Chris' neck. Two things could have been running through her mind: "I'm so happy to be here!" or "I'm about to choke that bitch Chris Brown's neck!" As for Chris Brown's facial expression, a few things, the two dominant ones being anger ala Gears of Awesome or the Howard Dean scream.


Finally, In Touch went with file photos. The way they're Photoshopped together makes me think Rihanna is cautious about Chris. Menwhile, Chris is rocking one s**t-eating grin right there.

The following VOTM Is Not Safe For Work Or For Baltimore

I found this video over on Deadspin earlier this week. Apparently, someone over at ESPN.com accidentally/purposely made a link to this video instead of this week's "Tuesdays With Mel" column, where ESPN's NFL Draft expert gave you his latest opinion on the upcoming draft. Since I found this video, I have watched it several times. And it's still funny. It even brought me a smile when I was at work just thinking about it and the lines from it. Ladies and Gentlemen, This Is Awesome Sauce.

Just Remember: The video above is Not Safe For Work.
Expect something on Sunday.

BONUS SAFE-FOR-WORK LINK!
Watchmen as a Saturday Morning Cartoon (Newgrounds)

Seth VS Deathbringer

I have been playing Street Fighter IV ever since it came out two weeks ago. And, quite simply, I love it. The fighting mechanics are solid. The graphics are great. And, outside of a few nitpicks regarding features that could have carried over from Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix (like you not knowing who your opponent selected), online's a blast. But, outside of the online components, there's one other thing that I don't like about SFIV:

Seth Sucks And Is A Cheap Bastard.

I mean, seriously, he sucks. He is an uncontrollable cheap bastard. In case you don't care about SFIV, Seth is the final boss in the game. He looks like Dr. Manhattan with a frickin' yin-yang ball in his mid-section, he can use the best moves from select fighters (the Shoryuken, Sonic Boom, Yoga Teleport, etc), and his Ultra combo involves literally sucking you inside his midsection and spitting you out. Also, he can be cheap with some of his moves. For example, almost everytime I faced him, he always seem to execute one special where he uppercuts you, jumps up in the air, and then does a spinning piledriver on you. And, he does this move almost every friggin' time I faced him! He sucks ass!

In fact, I'm actually beating the same old drum now. Almost everyone who has commented on SFIV has talked about the cheapness of The Other Blue Naked Man. Some people have even compared him to the final bosses of SNK games like The King Of Fighters. (BTW, I'm getting KOF 2002/2003 on the original Xbox soon) However, there's one other boss Seth reminds me of. That person is Deathbringer from Battle Fantasia.

Battle Fantasia is a fighting game from Arc System Works, the people behind Guilty Gear. And, that's about it since Battle Fantasia dumps GG's love of future-tech and 80's butt-rock for more fantasy setting, excluding one character's usage of a chainsaw/sword/gas-poowered hoverboard mid-battle. The final boss is Deathbringer, a dark knight. When you first encounter him, he's just like every other character and not some supreme d-bag. However, it's not until after you beat him the first time when he becomes a supreme overpowered douche. It is in this final form Deathbringer becomes a true a-hole. All your attacks - punches, kicks, specials - don't do damage to this jackass. It's only when you're in Heat Up mode, the Super Saiyan of Battle Fantasia, that you can do serious damage to him, if he hasn't beaten you to a pulp, cancelling your Heat Up mode, and pull off his final, megaton death blow that I have not yet learned how to avoid, if at all. The final version of Deathbringer has been such a problem, and so much different from his previous form, that I call him Deathbringer Turbo. He's that much of a dick. Hell, he might have even inspired Seth since Yashimori Ono, SFIV's producer, has credited Battle Fantasia for inspiring SFIV's 3D-style-meets-2D-gameplay attitude.

So, how does Deathbringer Turbo like Seth? They're both final bosses and they're both cheap, hard, and almost impossible to beat. On the easiest settings for both games. It took me over thirty times to beat Seth as El Fuerte, and Deathbringer Turbo has made me afraid to even progress further into Battle Fantasia. Who's the bigger douche? Who knows? They could probably be out-douched by the final bosses in BlazBlu (Arc's new 2D fighter) and King of Fighters XII when they come out later this year. And, I'll be getting both, get abused by them, and love every single minute of it. Just the way God attened.

Pure Randomness #002

Sorry about me not posting in a while. Life happens. Like work. And laziness. Until the next post, enjoy the creepiness that is the new Gatorade Tiger labeling.